There is peace inside of me
And chaos running wild two emotions at once,
I became an ambivalent as I am a stranger to this city,
For a sec, I couldn’t find myself
And then I questioned my deeper thoughts
“What is the purpose of exploring life?”
Then I instantly realized
I am born with that ‘never giving up’ spirit.
To settle in this new town
Was a struggle in the beginning?
With heavy heart, intangible feelings and incomplete vow
I began to discover new things every day.
Finding every inspiration I need;
Finally, I could see the ‘settled me’ 20 years from now.
Growing up as a female was normal
Growing up as a female with ‘not wanting to be’
I was labelled an abnormal
In another word, ‘mental illness’
With all these conflicts inside me, I got sick.
Sick of everything;
And then moving into another city felt
Like more welcoming
Despite all dealings,
Finally, I came into a little existence,
As a huge diversity of people is squashed in
Each corner of the city.
How captivating it is to reach out things
With your own perspective?
When you realize you just don’t explore,
You feel the most alive
Then I pursued and realized the beauty of being ‘different’
Unstoppably the level of confidence rose up
And there I saw the worthiness of my existence reformed.
Sujata Thapa
Teacher